Author Topic: Radient Beauty of a Wife  (Read 7291 times)

Offline happy2B-rickswife

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Radient Beauty of a Wife
« on: June 07, 2006, 01:34:54 PM »
::)
I have found that the most beautiful women did not use skin care "products" found on "the market". They didn't order a special formula, shop at local department stores or buy age defying topical creams on line.
The most beautiful women didn't read Vogue, McCall's,or Allure.They didn't even keep up with fashion.
The most attractive women that I've talked with were God fearing, god honoring radiant with the holy spirit. To top it all off they had the glow of "the happy wife".
My personal beauty secret is a contented heart, love for my heavenly father and a joyful husband.
Happy to be Ricky's wife for 18 faithful years--Praise God !!
Like my "place" :, mom, teacher,nurse,wife,janitor,detective,encourager,cook,grounds keeper and spiritual example :)
mom to ;Justin age17 1st. HS grad.( LOOKING FOR WIFE)
Devin-15yr. Terrell-14yr.
Jenna-13yr. Julia-12yr. & Treavor-10

Offline ~esposita~

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2006, 03:40:21 PM »
Thank you!  How encouraging and inspiring for me, a wife of just 4 years.  I love my man, yet daily need to throw myself at the feet of Jesus, asking Him to help me love Andrew more.  I've read "Created to be His Help Meet."  The first time, I thought "Wow! What a good book! It is filled with truth."  Not long after that, I returned to read it again with a humbled heart crying out for God to change me.  (Yes, not Andrew...ME!)  Now I know what I need to do and "to him who knows what he should do and does it not, it is sin" (rough paraphrase).  It is hard to walk out what I know I should when fiery emotions get in the way.  Daily I need to lay down my will, my "hurt feelings", my SELF.  But O! It is sweet to see and walk in the right way!  Day by day it gets easier to do what is right.  And O!  How we all benefit - my man, my self and my lovely children! 
 
Again, Thank you!
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Offline Helen

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2006, 05:57:06 AM »
I agree!!!!  I love being a happy radient wife to my husband, and he is a very happy husband!!!   Thanks to my mom and  mrs pearl............................

Offline ~esposita~

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2006, 06:19:44 AM »
Why does it seem that after a time of doing so well, BAM! you wake up one morning and feel miserable, want to go cry, feel taken advantage of, feel lonely and discouraged, and to top it off its the day the kids seem to have lost their hearing (and then do everything they're not supposed to)?  Thats today...and I'm fighting it as well as I can, but O! I am discouraged!  It seems the harder I fight, the more I loose!  Now, thats not fair at all!!!  And encouragement...? :'(
My attempt at blogging:  The Carpenter's Wife

Offline Julie G

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2006, 06:28:54 AM »
Why does it seem that after a time of doing so well, BAM! you wake up one morning and feel miserable, want to go cry, feel taken advantage of, feel lonely and discouraged, and to top it off its the day the kids seem to have lost their hearing (and then do everything they're not supposed to)?  Thats today...and I'm fighting it as well as I can, but O! I am discouraged!  It seems the harder I fight, the more I loose!  Now, thats not fair at all!!!  And encouragement...? :'(

I'd love to hear from the "older" women on this.  I know I have those days as well - it really bites :-\.  I try to think on things above during those times and pray - I can go on a vicious cycle of self-pity and resentfulness.  We have so much to be thankful for...not sure how to turn things around in the middle of it though.
Ellie:  (when she was 3 years old)  "Mama, you sure got a big butt to sit with!"


Offline Helen

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2006, 06:44:34 AM »
I dont know if this helps but sometimes we have those times because of the time of the month, (where you are in your cycle and it affects your hormones)  sometimes it happens to me because i allow myself to worry about the bills, or this or that ... that is none of my business to worry about. One thing i do that helps enourmously, I make myself a cup of the blues blend tea from mountain rose herbs,  and i sit and read a book for a little bit, I then get up turn on the bible on cd , somewhere really thought provoking like when the children of isreal are exiting egypt.  It is so  engrossing it makes you feel better and stop the self pity. :)     I really hope this helps a bit, I know i certainly have those days and i hate it. another thing i do sometimes is call hubby and just honostly tell him I am having a horrible day, he always acts so pitiing that it makes me laugh, and that makes me feel close to him and everything is so much better.......   ;D

Offline momof4boys

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2006, 01:40:18 PM »
Radiant WIFE!!  Wow, that is what I pray that I am growing into.  ;)  I am trying to be more health conscious and less self centered.  The Lord has been dealing with me the last year or so on my dress and makeup.  I am wearing more clothes and less makeup :P!  I am wanting to be pure inside and out.  Physically and Spiritually. Can anyone else share their feelings on this?  I am letting my hair grow long for my dear husband because he LOVES it long but I HATE the heat!  He is wanting me to wear it different than up in a clip.  Do any of you have ideas on that?  I have many questions and don't know where all to put them so I will just do a couple at a time. ;D  Thanks Ladies for the fellowship!
Deanna
Faith does not deny the reality of the difficulty.
Faith declares the POWER of God in the face of it.

Offline ~esposita~

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2006, 01:54:45 PM »
Please forgive me if this is in the wrong place - even on the wrong site...let me know if this is a 7XSunday question...

I am soooo struggling to be a radiant wife.  I feel that this week was a great success...til yesterday.  Then, all went well today...til this evening.  My beloved is a Mr. Visionary with a jumbled mess of Mr. Command & Mr. Steady tied in there.  We are home missionaries in SE PA...serving other missionaries and ministries both in the states and overseas.  I say that to say this:  the "boss man" at the ministry has NO regard for my husband's talent or time.  My husband is asked to do EVERYTHING, including that which he is best at (carpentry) but never given the time to do carpentry.  That in and of itself isn't such a big deal, most of the time...til problems that should have been fixed months ago, and were on Hubby's list, suddenly turn into emergencies and "why isn't that done?"...You get the picture???

Anyway, that is said to say that I am SO frustrated because of late it seems that my man is working14 - 16 hr days.  Now, I could be much more supportive and encouraging to him, I'm sure, but he is always telling me how terribly frustrated he is.  So, my heart screams, why don't you just tell the "Boss man" that enough is enough and come HOME?!?  He (hubby) says he wants to be home more - I try so hard not to pout and moan or get angry and upset and emotional...it is HIM saying he wants to be home more, yet the only one that is gonna make that happen is him.  So, I don't know how to encourage him.  He seems put off at being asked to do more work, so I want to tell him to "Just say no" but part of me thinks he really likes it, and I'm just confused as to what is really going on inside of him, and he's not home for me to ask, and please excuse typing errors cause I'm crying now, and I just so want to be a radiant wife for him, but I'm sad and lonely and, I just plain miss my man.  Please, I do beg for some honest help.  Don't tell me your sorry, please tell me again what Created to Be His Help Meet says, and please give me some ideas on how to better turn to Jesus.  PLease... :'(
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Offline SC

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2006, 04:00:16 PM »
Okay, breathe  ;D. Then, remember that he is a man and doesn't think like we do.

When he tells you about his work, he is not asking you for advice on how to handle the situation (unless he uses those words). If you take it that way and offer advice, what he hears is you saying, "Oh, you poor, poor dear! Let ME tell you what to do." Then, he has two problems: a difficult situation at work and a wife that is directing him at home. That is enough to take the wind out of his sails, make him doubt his instincts, and do nothing. NOT good.

My husband has been working some long hours, also. They weren't even giving him his days off that he was due. The days he did work were 10 to 12 hours. If he got a day off for any reason, the supervisor scheduled no one to cover his position, leaving everything for him to do when he returned. I KNOW what it is to see someone else taking advantage of my man.

So, when he comes home and says, "You won't believe what happened today . . . " What do I do? First, I listen. Then I respond with statements like, "I don't know how you do it, Sweetheart. They are lucky to have you. A lesser man couldn't do all that you do. I don't know what they would do without you." He KNOWS he's being taken advantage of and unappreciated at work. I make sure he knows he isn't taken for granted at home. (Of course, this includes a proper welcoming stampeed of children, pets and me at the door when he gets home  ::))

If he continues to press me, I may respond with a question. This helps me make sure that I'm not trying to influence or lead him. I might ask something like, "What do you think you should do?" Notice, that I don't ask him what he WILL do. That could lead to me checking to see if he followed through.

Once, he asked me if I thought he should change careers. Thank God, I knew enough by this time not to take the head and try to jerk the reins out of his hands. My response was, "Sweetheart, I know you will do well in any position. You are the best worker I've ever seen. Anyone would be lucky to have you and glad to pay you well. If something ever happened to cause you to end your job now, I KNOW that you are the kind of man that would FIND a way to provide for and protect your family. It's not your paycheck that gives me security; it's being your wife."

If there is a thread through all of this it is that every man needs to know there is a woman at home who believes in him. If you make it a tug of war between what you want him to do and what he is doing now, you only create a distraction and strife that doesn't need to be. That behavior only adds to his burden as he seeks to please all of the demanding people in his life. It puts you on the same side as the unreasonable employer. Build him up, greet him with arms that are full of appreciation and he will know that he's got something that miserable boss will never have -- YOU!
I'm no doctor . . .             I'm not even a Post hole Digger! ;)
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Offline healthybratt

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2006, 04:35:01 PM »
Very nice piece of advice SC and so very eloquent as well.   ;D
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Offline queentea

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2006, 04:50:58 PM »
Ditto on HB!!!
Your post (SC) spoke volumes to me as I try to "solve problems" for my hubby and I can see now that he just needs me to listen most of the time...no wonder he doesn't always share right away.  Thanks for this jewel that will help me by a wife that "the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her"
Lisa

Offline ~esposita~

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2006, 02:37:49 AM »
Wow!  Now that I have oxygen back into my body, I feel much better!!! ;D

Let me share how the night went...When my man got home around 9:30 or 10 I had just finished nursing our son and was giving him a bath in the kitchen sink.  His smiles and giggles helped put joy into my heart...as well as all the "help!" cries to Jesus.  So, I was able to genuinely smile at my tired man.  Then, after we were all ready for bed I got out the Aches and Pains oil to massage his tired feet.  I wasn't being fake with my happiness, but I don't believe I was mopeing either.  In any even, he asked me if I was sad, and I said "yes, a little" but that it was better not to talk about it.  He asked if I was being honoest or did I want him to ask more questions  ::)  So I said that if I were to spill my guts, most of it would be raw emotion and irrationalitly and that it was up to him if he wanted to hear it.  Now, mayhaps that wasn't what I should have done, but I am learning.  So I told him of my not knowing how to respopnd to him, how I was confused and how I was angry at his "boss" and blah, blah, blah.  He listened then pulled me close and told me I was his best friend and that he was just dumping on me...kind of exactly was SC was talking about...

Unfortunately, I did say a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have.  O!  I am so thankful for GRACE, and that the Lord's mercies are NEW every morning!  I am so glad that when I don't have understanding, my husband does...He sure loves me. 

Anyway, thank you for the very practical and godly advice...it is what I have heard about before, but somehow when it is your life, you forget about what is right...I wonder if it because of emotional involvement??  I remember as a younger unmarried girl, spending time with a godly family - the husband and wife were very open about how they related...I not being raised by godly parents tried to soak it up.  Now, I remember the husband talking about this very thing!  Now...unfortunately not last night  ::)

Thanks again...got to go
My attempt at blogging:  The Carpenter's Wife

Offline lotsaboys

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2006, 02:44:29 AM »
Excellent post, SC! I wanted to respond and didn't have time, so I see its good I didn't as you've said it much better then I could have!

One thing in addition to listening and encouraging that I've found helpful, is to dwell on grateful thoughts, remembering to be thankful that I HAVE a good husband that provides for us! It seems we woman think we need so much more from our marriage than our men. While my Mr. Steady is so content with me and doesn't find fault and criticize, I am the one who sometimes wishes things could be more to my liking as far as what he does with his time and how he chooses to lead our family.

And if there is something you feel you need to discuss with him, remember, if he has the confidence that you are only full of support and encouragement, he is much more likely to hear you than if you are at all "whiney", nagging, or even trying to carry the problem on your shoulders when it really is his responsibility.

bajusabroad, I think the Lord will reward you with wisdom as you keep your heart soft and look to Him!

Offline diaperswyper

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2006, 04:01:12 AM »
Bajusabroad, keep crying out to Jesus, he loves an honest and searching heart. In my search to be that radiant wife, God keeps gently prodding me in the right direction. I'm often amazed at how forgiving and lovinng men are when our hearts truly want to be a great wife. I learned a long time ago, that when i wallow in self pity, not to expect any sympathy from my man, but when it's truly a heart cry "appeal" he listens and truly cares, even when i'm afraid i said too much, he still hears my heart. As time goes on, and God continues to do that work in our marriage, and i trust God in my husband, those times get less and less. Not saying we don't still have those times..............our husbands don't want perfect wives, they want a best friend, one they can laugh with and climb into bed with. 8)

Offline AndysJess

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #14 on: August 22, 2006, 06:08:22 AM »
Bajusabroad, keep crying out to Jesus, he loves an honest and searching heart. In my search to be that radiant wife, God keeps gently prodding me in the right direction. I'm often amazed at how forgiving and lovinng men are when our hearts truly want to be a great wife. I learned a long time ago, that when i wallow in self pity, not to expect any sympathy from my man, but when it's truly a heart cry "appeal" he listens and truly cares, even when i'm afraid i said too much, he still hears my heart. As time goes on, and God continues to do that work in our marriage, and i trust God in my husband, those times get less and less. Not saying we don't still have those times..............our husbands don't want perfect wives, they want a best friend, one they can laugh with and climb into bed with. 8)

Wow...isn't that the truth.  My husband even tried to put it into words for me one time.  He said, "when your tears come from anger or self-pity, it just turns me off and makes me mad...but when you are truly sad or confused, I can tell.  I WANT to help/make it better."

Now, ladies...I am a crier.  I'm happy, I cry.  I'm sad, I cry.  I'm mad, I cry.....  I've never purposefully used tears (well, except for the early days of marriage) to get my way, but there are many times when they just come unbidden.  I've really learned to control them...I get a much better response when I do.  Then, when the tears are from true grief or pain, my husband hasn't been so soaked with tears, he builds up an immunity.  Then, he is in a much better position to meet my need, whatever it may be.

Men are definitely different creatures from us women.  We can't expect them to react to our tears the same way our mom or sister would.  To place that kind of expectation on them just sets us up for a lot of grief and disappointment.  Isn't it amazing how things change when we clear our minds of the image the mainstream media trys to give us of how our man should be/act and allow the truth of how God created them to take it's place.  Life sure is a lot easier.
Helpmeet to Andy for over 10 years.  Mama to Drew, Dylan, Cullen & Avery...new baby due in May 2010

Offline daisey

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #15 on: August 31, 2006, 08:20:06 AM »
Why does it seem that after a time of doing so well, BAM! you wake up one morning and feel miserable, want to go cry, feel taken advantage of, feel lonely and discouraged, and to top it off its the day the kids seem to have lost their hearing (and then do everything they're not supposed to)?  Thats today...and I'm fighting it as well as I can, but O! I am discouraged!  It seems the harder I fight, the more I loose!  Now, thats not fair at all!!!  And encouragement...? :'(

I'd love to hear from the "older" women on this.  I know I have those days as well - it really bites :-\.  I try to think on things above during those times and pray - I can go on a vicious cycle of self-pity and resentfulness.  We have so much to be thankful for...not sure how to turn things around in the middle of it though.


Hi all
I haven't been on this message board for about a month now :(   With all the canning and then a computer crash I just never caught up.  Many of the latest subjects are so good~~~the how do you find time for this was exactly what I had been wondering. 
Anyway, on to this subject~~~I am 58 with 5 children and a visionary husband.  When the children were younger I had so many days when I just wanted to curl up and be gone~~~forever!'    I have learned that when everything is going really good I didn't need my Father as much.  sometimes I think things started falling apart just so I would turn back to Him for EVERYTHING  that I need.   It is still that way sometimes but now as much.   Remember that God wants "US."   Not so much the things we do or how well we raise our children, although that is all part of it,  He wants a relationship with us and all the rest of life will fall into place.   Not necessarily easy but making us more like Christ. 
Keep on keeping on.   I think as mothers and wives we all know very well the meaning of the phrase, 'pray without ceasing.'     
Enjoy each moment~~~they pass way to quickly.   Those children will be gone before you know it.  That is a really big void when it happens.   Yes, they need to go and it is good to see them go on with life serving God but it is kind of lonely for Mom and Pop.  There are some good things too~~mainly the renewed couple relationship.   That is kind of fun after all those years of little privacy. :-\
Just wanted to say I love all the encouragement and open honesty on this board.   Makes me feel not alone sometimes.
God Bless
JNC
« Last Edit: August 31, 2006, 08:32:04 AM by daisey »
Be Still my soul, the Lord is on Thy Side

Offline braydensmama

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2007, 03:41:13 PM »
It's so cool to see how so many of you that are older have grown in the "godly woman" category. I'm 22 and have been married for 3 years. When I think back to how I treated Zac the first two years of our marriage I just cringe. Some of the things I said to him that were so belittleing (yet, me not realizing all the time how my words affected him) I wish I could take so many things back.
 I'm so thankful for Grace. I love the saying in Anne of Green Gables....Tommorrow is fresh with no mistakes in it. Consciences though...to be sure. Anyways, I hope that as I grow older that I can learn to hold my tongue even more. I think I'm doing much better this last year...realizing that I married a Mr. Steady who needs my constant appreciation and adoration. And...with that I have to realize that zac is also growing...he's 24! He's amazing enough as it is....I can't even fathom how wonderful he will be at 54!
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Offline BJ_BOBBI_JO

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Re: Radient Beauty of a Wife
« Reply #17 on: January 26, 2007, 08:16:04 AM »
This thread reminds me of the Bible verse:

PROVERBS 31:30 "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised"

For those who are King James only readers--->  Proverbs 30:31
" Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain : but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."


We cant stop our youthful beauty from fading away with age but we can stop our inner beauty from fading. Infact we can increase our inner beauty even at the age of 101!   
 ;)