Author Topic: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat  (Read 209685 times)

Offline hopenaomi

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We found out last week that I miscarried. It was a huge shock because I had no symptoms (bleeding, cramps, etc.). Since I have no symptoms and I don't want ANY procedure, my doctor is allowing me two weeks until he thinks something needs to be done. It has been difficult, of course, and in the back of my mind I think maybe they were wrong, etc. But, I saw the ultrasound. I had two ultrasounds a week apart and the second one made it clear that the baby was gone.
My dilemma: Can I refuse any procedure (D&C, etc) if my body doesn't have the miscarriage naturally? My doctor said there would be concern of infection and/or blood clot. I just don't know what to do and I am praying that the Lord takes care of it naturally.
Oh, just FYI, my doctor is very prolife. He doesn't perform abortions or prescribe contraceptives of any kind, so I really believe he didn't "jump the gun" on this. I was in my first trimester.
Thank you for any helpful information.
Melody :'(







Offline kmrockhold

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2006, 12:36:40 PM »
I dont know what the answer to your question is, but I wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for your  loss.   

Offline WithLoveAndJoy

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2006, 12:41:35 PM »
Kelly, let me say that I am so very sorrowful for your loss. I can't imagine how you must be feeling.  I will be praying for you and your family  *BIG HUG*
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Offline kittyninja

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2006, 01:17:53 PM »
I am really sorry for your loss. I lost my baby in  April and still haven't gotten over it :(.  I just wanted to tell you that if you're body isn't doing it naturally- i wouldn't hesitate and risk never being ever to carry a baby again. I knew i lost mine but my dr still wanted to be extra cautious and did 2 blood tests and 2 ultrasounds to make sure i didn't have an ectopic pregnancy and to make sure i was clear. If i wasn't clear i wouldn't hesitate to let him do what he needed to do-i knew the life in me was gone and i needed to take care of my own health for my other little babies and to ensure that i can have more.  If he has ABSOLUTELY made sure that you miscarried then  know God is in control and just pray and let Him wrap his arms around you and trust that this wonderful dr you have has your best interest at heart.
I am sorry again-I hope i don't offend but the same thing ran through my head at the time and it was discussed with my husband even though I knew it was over.

Offline healthybratt

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2006, 01:39:25 PM »
I have no experience or knowledge to help.  I'm sorry for your loss.  I might point you toward the other thread on How to Fix Underlying Problems for your next time around. 
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Offline StephTallent

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2006, 02:10:10 PM »

My dilemma: Can I refuse any procedure (D&C, etc) if my body doesn't have the miscarriage naturally? My doctor said there would be concern of infection and/or blood clot. I just don't know what to do and I am praying that the Lord takes care of it naturally.



I had my 3rd miscarriage a couple of months ago.  I am so very sorry for your loss.  :'(

In answer to your question, No, they cannot force or make you get a D&C.  I felt very strongly that I should give my body the chance to take care of it naturally without risking a D&C.  We had a midwife that was very aggressive and tried to "fear" us into choosing to have the D&C or taking the pills.  We very calmly asked what the dangers were and informed her that we were willing to risk them.  She was NOT happy about that at all!  :o  I never went to see her again after that.   

Depending on how far along you are there may be a risk of bleeding "too much."  I was very fortunate that my miscarriage happened while we were on a business trip in TN.  The bleeding got severe and we were an hours drive from the closest ER but fortunately a kind and experienced midwife was there and gave me a strong tea to drink made out of fresh sage.  Within 30 minutes of drinking it the bleeding slowed to a normal and acceptable level.

After the miscarriage I went in and saw an OBGYN who did a sonogram just to make sure that everything had passed that should.  He told me that if there was any unusual odor, or any pain or tenderness at all that I should come in to get an antibiotic. That never happened and my body was able to take care of it all naturally.  I did take Spirulina heavily during that time to help with the bleeding and in hopes that it would also help purify and prevent infection.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2006, 02:11:47 PM by StephTallent »
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Offline MissusLeata

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2006, 02:43:55 PM »
I'm so sorry that you lossed your little one. What a hard time to pass through.

Yes, you can refuse anything that the Dr. wants to do. Just make sure you know the risks of carrying a dead baby. (I beleive that the risk is worse in the second or thrid trimester than in the first.)  There are also herbal things and other 'natural' things that can be done to bring on labor. Maybe there's a midwife in your area that could help you with that?

I lost our baby in June. I miscarried at home and saw my midwife a couple days later. A D&C was not even brought up. And I'm glad because I didn't want one.

If the miscarriage hadn't happened naturally (and they usually will within a few weeks), I would put a deadline of how long I'd wait to do something. I've heard of women going for like 6 months (that's more the exception, though) and I wouldn't want that. There are risks, and for me, I'd like to have another one soon...so, six months would be a long time to wait.

Anyway, may God comfort you and lead you during this time.

Offline Elizab04

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2006, 02:57:26 PM »
I am very sorry about the loss of your baby. 

I lost my first baby through miscarriage when I was 11 weeks pregnant.  The doctor couldn't hear the heartbeat, so they did an ultrasound, and there was no heartbeat.  They asked if I wanted to go right to the hospital for a D & C, but I declined.  I didn't want one just in case...   I don't remember how long it took for me to start miscarrying, but it happened one evening, and I was bleeding so much that my husband had to rush me to the hospital, and they did a D & C.  I know a lot of people who miscarried and did just fine with it without the D & C.  There are probably risks both ways, so I would pray about it, and do whatever you feel most comfortable with. 

Offline Bethany

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2006, 05:24:25 PM »
Yes, you have the right to refuse any procedure you are offered. If you do chose to go that route, it's important to understand the risks and danger signs. Keep track of your bleeding, temp, how you're feeling, etc., be willing to get help if something comes up, and seek God's will.

Offline healthyinOhio

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2006, 05:36:52 PM »
I am so sorry for you! :'(  I would never want a mean, un-saved person to go through something like this, let alone a Christian woman who wants to bear  Godly offspring.  Praying for you!

Offline SC

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2006, 07:06:51 PM »
Dear Melody and others,  :'( :'(
I'm terribly sorry to hear that your dear little one is gone. May you be comforted by the One who is acquainted with sorrow during this time.

Regarding your miscarriage, if you decide not to have the D&C, you will want to observe the discharge. My midwife told me of a couple she saw that lost their little one, and she counseled them on the phone to be sure everything had been expelled. This will let you and your doctor know whether any material has been left behind.

About D&C's and miscarriages in general, I was also told by this midwife that many Dr's jump to perform the procedure before being sure the pregnancy has been lost. She has delivered more than one live baby to couples that were told they had miscarried and been pressured to have a D&C without certain confirmation that the baby had died. I don't share this to give anyone a false hope, but to caution you against numbly submitting to something at a most difficult time before you are certain that is what you should do.
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Offline hopenaomi

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2006, 07:23:34 PM »
I just wanted to thank all of you dear ladies for sharing with me. Reading your stories saddened my heart but it also was a source of comfort, too. I appreciate the advice. I guess it has been an emotional two weeks. At one point I thought maybe it was all a dream. Having no symptoms  had me feeling as if I never were pregnant. I never knew you could miscarry and still have the baby, etc. inside weeks later.
Some of you are in my thoughts and prayers, too as I read your experiences and heartaches. Praise God that we have the hope and promise of seeing our little ones again. God Bless you all and for you, StephTallant, I pray for the joy and miracle of someday holding your own blessed bundle of joy.
Melody

Offline mamasboys

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2006, 07:38:14 PM »
There are herbal remedies that will help you to complete a miscarriage if your body doesn't do it on it's own.  A friend of mine recently miscarried and they gave her a timeline in which they would do a D&C.  She talked to a midwife who recommended blue cohosh tincture.  This is something that I have used myself to bring on labor contractions and generally referred to as safe and can be purchased at a local health food store.  I would certainly contact a local midwife familiar with herbs and follow her instructions on how to use the cohosh (if she recommends it) or other herbal remedies.
The book "Wise Woman, the Childbearing Year" if filled with natural herbal remedies and has a chapter on how to complete a miscarriage with herbs that you might find useful.  But be forewared, this is a VERY new age book and instead of purchasing it, you might be able to just peruse that chapter at the library and scribble down the remedies.
I too am very sorry for your loss and have suffered a miscarriage myself and went on to have 2 healthy children with another one on the way so have hope! 
God Bless,
Andrea

Offline AndysJess

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2006, 11:52:28 PM »
First, please accept my condolences on your loss.  I lost my first child's fraternal twin in the very beginning stages of pregnancy.  Although all of the things are in the hands of a very loving, merciful God...it is hard not to look back and thing.."what if"

Second, before you make a decision about having a D&C, it might be wise to do some research on the risk of uterine scarring caused by the procedure.  One of my closest friends lost a baby a few months ago.  She opted out of the D&C.  It took over a month before her body began to expel everything.  By that time, I think she had started taking some herbs to promote the cleansing.  She did bleed A LOT, but she was fine.  She stayed in bed and drank tons of water.   Although, emotionally, the waiting was really hard for her, she was more concerned with the risk of scarring.  Today, she is 2 1/2 months pregnant and everything is going well.

I hope your situation turns out as well and even better.  God bless you.
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Offline mexmarr

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #14 on: July 26, 2006, 03:29:22 AM »
You are in our parayers.  I had three miscarriages, and I know the pain.  I did not have a D & C with any of them.  I am very cautious about them.  They can cause scarrring and other problems in your uterus that will  affect future pregnancies and increase your risk of another miscarriage. 

Also, I am very leary of getting one right away.  My mom had a sonogram and they couldn't hear the heartbeat.  They said the baby was dead and had been for two weeks  because of the size.  My parents turned down the sonogram.  The doctor was angry and insisted.  He thought my parents were stupid.  Seven months later, my brother was born.

But also let me say, there are times that a D & C is essential.  If you start to get an infection in your uterus, you need to get it done.  That is critical to your health!!  Keep a watch for a fever, which is a sign of infection.  If you start running a fever, go get a sonogram right away!   Of course it doesn't always mean an infection in the uterus, but you should check.  I ran a fever once, after a miscarriage, and went to the doctor.  I was ready to do the D&C if necessary, but PLT it wasn't.

If you are absolutely sure that your baby is dead (please do give it some time, my parents waited two weeks) than It should be a personal choice.  And nobody should judge you.  It is a personal decision, and you and your husband need to do what you believe best for you and your future children. A little research can go a long way in giving you confidence to make the best decision.

Offline Maria/NHM

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #15 on: July 26, 2006, 04:58:14 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't offer any advice but can share only share my experience. My first miscarriage was very early and was pretty much like a normal period. My last miscarriage was very difficult. I started spotting at nine weeks and passed the baby right away with no problems. The next day I started having very painful cramping. More like labor than a period. The cramping went on for three days until I passed the placenta. I then had cramping on and off for two weeks while I passed other small pieces. I lost alot of blood but it never seemed like it was too much. I rested and took vitamin c. I'm sure every situation is different but felt for me that as long as I didn't feel like I was getting an infection I would just wait it out. I would really recomend supermom and spiralina if you have any heavy bleeding. With my last pregnancy my iron dropped to 10 during the last couple months. I started taking the supplements and at four weeks postpartum my iron count is at 15.

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Offline JOLENE

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #16 on: July 28, 2006, 03:22:40 AM »
I'm so sorry for your loss.  I found out I was pregnant in January and went and saw my doctor at 8 weeks (in February).  I found out it was a non-viable pregnancy at that time.  I too didn't want a D&C, which they told me was fine, I just had to get my blood drawn weekly until my beta levels dropped to zero.  I still had morning sickness for about 5 weeks after that, but my beta levels were constantly dropping.  I didn't actually pass any tissue until middle of May.  If this ever happens again, I may opt for the D&C, just because it was such a long time waiting for the pregnancy to end and so emotional.  I'll be praying for you.

Offline Helen

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #17 on: July 28, 2006, 08:23:30 PM »
I also am very sorry for your loss, I had my third miscarriege in a row in Feb, I dont know that much about the D and C procedure I wasnt seeing a OB for any of the miscarrieges, (but I dont recomend that)  my regular doctor ordored a sonogram just to make sure everything was out and clear,
  It helped me to heal by thinking about how this little baby is in heaven, and there was a reason it could not be born, often there is something terribly wrong and it is mercifull that they can go so early.
  But I am praying that God will show you what to do! It sounds like you have gotton lots of solid experianced advice.  God will heal you and your heart!!!!!!!

Offline westernmama

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #18 on: August 06, 2006, 12:14:05 PM »
I am also sorry for all you ladies who have lost little angels.  I guess what has been our loss has also been Heaven's gain!  I have 3 little ones that I lost.  Two were from low progesterone.   I guess I would advise you to look into the herbs that some others mentioned to help you expel everything - if indeed your little one has gone home.  I wish someone would have told me something to take with my first miscarriage.  I was pretty naive - nobody in my family had ever had a miscarriage.  I was nine weeks along. I started bleeding.  The doc couldn't find a heartbeat on ultrasound.  After about 2 days of bleeding and cramping, I passed the baby.  I continued to bleed, but not extremely heavy.  It wasn't until about 2 months later (during which time I actually had a period) that I passed the rest of the tissue.  I had contractions and bled very heavily, which scared me.  I think now that I truly had not passed everything from my miscarriage.  So, I don't know that I would have a D&C unless you start to hemorrhage.  But I would definitely look into the herbs.  May God's hand uphold you through this time.

Offline smartmommato4

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2006, 12:59:06 PM »

I recently experienced a not so pleasant miscarriage...not that any of them are pleasant.  My midwife came out to the house two weeks ago today to listen to the baby's heart...but was unable to find it.  I knew in my heart something wasn't right...but we still went for an ultrasound that afternoon.  The Doc. confirmed that in fact the baby had died at about 7 weeks gestation...he said my options were to have a D&C or just go home and wait it out...which is what we did.  I waited until that Friday to begin bleeding and actually miscarried beginning Sunday afternoon through the night until early Monday morning.  I lost way too much blood...was super tired and dizzy...passed out once and just allaround felt horrible.  I'm still bleeding lightly and it's what day 11 now??  I really want to get on with life...but it's just so hard.  How long does this all usually take?  I do want to get pregnant again and my midwife say I can right away...how long should it take?  I'm just having a much harder time than I thought I would with all of this.  Can anyone offer up some good advice.  This just isn't very fun.  Thanks:)
Heidi...mommy to four beautiful children and one in heaven :)

Offline HeatherRose

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #20 on: October 10, 2006, 01:09:46 PM »
I don't have any experiences with miscarriage but my nutritionist recommends 8oz of green cabbage juice - freshly juiced to stop hemorrhages.  Best Wishes :)

Offline herbalmama

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #21 on: October 10, 2006, 03:51:07 PM »
Between my daughter ,Juleah ,who is 4 1/2 and my daoughter catherine who is 1 my husband and I suffered 4 miscarraiges ,all of them resulting in huge amounts of blood loss leaving me with the symptoms you described as having .I would give myself time for healing if I were you.I didnt fully stop bleeding for up to three weeks with mine ,almost as if I had carried the baby to term.Rest ,immerse yourself in Gods word and if possible get someone ( friend ,family member) to come help if you need a little rest here and there.I also thinkitis important to allow yourself to grieve for the baby and to remember that God had a purpose for that little life even though it was very short.

Offline ShabbyChic

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #22 on: October 10, 2006, 04:28:33 PM »
When my dear friend N had a miscarriage her midwife advised her to wait 6 weeks before resuming relations with her husband.  She was pregnant again about 2 1/2-3 months after she miscarried, and that pregnancy was to term.  She has had 2 babies since then, both healthy.  With blood loss make sure you are getting enough iron, too.  Blessings and prayers.
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Offline Eviesmom

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #23 on: October 26, 2006, 10:35:53 AM »
I just got off the phone with my doctor and she suspects I miscarried.  I never had a positive pregnancy test so I never went to the doctor.  I passed tissue today and also began bleeding. So, that's why I called.  I hate to think I was pregnant and even though I suspected it. I hate really not knowing.  I know that God is in control and He loves me, but I know what a blessing babies are.  My doctor says that I don't have to come in if I don't want to. Only if I pass more tissue or if I continue to bleed past Sunday.  I kind of feel like I should go even if I don't do those things, Any advice. Thanks! 

Offline CKSMOM

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #24 on: October 26, 2006, 11:14:27 AM »
I have suffered the loss of four babies, and know the pain you may be feeling.  My recommendations are to drink lots of Chlorophyll water or molasses water to build up your blood.  Cayenne pepper for bleeding, also the mama's raspberry brew.  There is a formula that my midwife recommended from Nature's sunshine to use in case all of the tissue didn't pass to help clean you out, if you want I can try to find the name of it.  I think you can also buy a similar formula from nature's way.  My heart goes out to you, and my prayers will be going to the throne of heaven.  God is faithful.

Offline CKSMOM

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #25 on: October 26, 2006, 11:42:53 AM »
By the way, the name of that formula from Nature's Sunshine used to be NF-X.  I'm not sure if they carry it now, but this is what was in it.

Goldenseal
Blessed Thistle
Capsicum
Uva Ursi
Cramp Bark
False Unicorn
Red Raspberry
Squaw Vine
Ginger.


Offline yasmine

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #26 on: November 04, 2006, 08:43:54 AM »
me too

Offline yasmine

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #27 on: November 04, 2006, 08:47:07 AM »
I meant me too I  am sorry for your losses I m not good at posting

Offline skederbear

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #28 on: November 04, 2006, 11:08:52 AM »
I just got off the phone with my doctor and she suspects I miscarried. I never had a positive pregnancy test so I never went to the doctor. I passed tissue today and also began bleeding. So, that's why I called. I hate to think I was pregnant and even though I suspected it. I hate really not knowing. I know that God is in control and He loves me, but I know what a blessing babies are. My doctor says that I don't have to come in if I don't want to. Only if I pass more tissue or if I continue to bleed past Sunday. I kind of feel like I should go even if I don't do those things, Any advice. Thanks!
   
   IF you feel it would give you peace of mind,go to the doctor.  I did for my first miscarriage, and it really helped me emotionally.  He told me things I knew(like I hadn't done anything that could have caused it) but it really helped reasure me.  I had 1 more miscarriage a month later,then the next month got pregnant again and ended up having a very healthy little boy(I think it's cause I got on some really good vitamins.)
  I do want to caution any women who has a misscarriage to be carefull not to get cold emotionally and spiritually. My secong misscarriage,I didn't even let myself cry. I let myself get angry at God ,and it took me along time to get my relationship with him fixed. My son was a few months old before I could give him to God. Can you believe it tool me that long to realize God could take better care of him than me?!  I hope ya'll understand what I am trying to say, I don't want others to have to go that road.

Offline abbilynn

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Re: Miscarriage: Concerns, Support, Encouragement & General Chat
« Reply #29 on: November 07, 2006, 02:57:34 AM »
Did any of you know you were going to miscarry before the bleeding and cramps?  I was just wondering what the signs were, like, do you start losing all your pregnancies symptoms such as sore breasts and nausea?  Or are you unable to tell until the bleeding and cramping start?  I'm so very sorry to all of you for your losses.  I know that the Lord will get you all through it with His grace and mercy and love.
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