opinions about pediatrian please!

[nomadicjcfollower]

Sorry this is a bit long, I just wanted to get the whole story...

I would really value some opinions on pediatrians these days. I am a first time mom. I have been taking my one year old son to a practice for a year. I seemed to have a bad experience from the get go. While in the hospital after giving birth, the Dr. who looked at him there was indignant with me for not staying 48hrs, since I was only planning to stay 24 hrs. We had quite a discussion about that, and I couldn't believe he was arguing with about it so closely after I gave birth and could bearly think. He said so many things can go wrong with babies in the first 48hrs blah blah blah... (even though my son was completely healthy) Finally he let me go if I promised to have my son seen in his future Dr.'s office the following day. Well we ended up waiting 2 days because there was a wind storm and the Dr. office didn't have power, but my son was fine.

So fast forward, we don't have insurance, we have a medical sharing plan which discounts well baby visits but does not cover them, so they still end up being quite expensive. I explained this to his doc and asked if there was any way we could combine some of his (every 2 month) appointments he was supposed to have because of that. That wasn't an option. So I asked the Dr. at his next visit what all he would be checking on my son at his next visit and being a registered nurse myself, I performed the check up myself at home with some help in measuring him from a friend. He checked out fine and I didn't take him in. I also had decided to wait until 6 months to start vaccinations, that apparently wasn't ok either, even though I thought I had told the Dr. I was going to do that. I started getting weekly calls from the office asking us to get his vaccinations, call them when we did and schedule his next appointment. I had skipped his 6 month appt. and brought him in for his eight month. The Dr. said he was a bit behind on his height and to bring him in to re-check in 1 to 2 months. I told him my husband is Asian and neither of us are above 5' 8". He still wanted to see him, I thought it could wait till I brought him in at a year. My son ended up getting a virus shortly before he turned 11 months. I called the nurse to see if there was anything I could do for his rash, she told me I could give him some benadryl (his fever had been gone for 2 days) she asked me if I felt comfortable just watching him and not bringing him in, I said yes. 2 hours later she called back to say the Dr. had found my message and wanted me to come in "to make sure it wasn't something else". I didn't really want to bring him in, I felt it was unnecessary but I thought better safe than sorry, so I did. Just as I thought they said a virus and sent him home. I had them re-check his height at that time as well (which was fine, right back where it was supposed to be). Then a couple weeks later I got a letter saying I was kicked out of their practice for non-compliance and not following up with appointments.

I just want to know, is this nazi pediatrcian practice common. How can I find a good Dr. who I can trust and trusts me? Am I crazy not to just do whatever they say? It seems like if you think for yourself that is unacceptable.

[larissakissa]

I would definitely get a new doctor!!!  I wouldn't have waited for so long either.  I didn't bring my children every two months either.  What for???  They were healthy, gaining weight, growing taller and almost never got sick.    I don't vaccinate and my doctor knew this the very first appointment.  Of course he told me all about the vaccines, the "deadly" diseases, and how I would be "protecting" my kids with the vaccines, but I told him I did a lot of research and made up my mind.  Sometimes he would  ask me if I'm still not doing vaccines, which of course I tell him "no".  He is fine with that. (even though he told me that he recommends getting them, at least some of them).  If your doctor does not respect your decisions, then I wouldn't trust him.  We should not have to do EVERYTHING that the doctor says.  He is just a doctor, and he should be giving advice,( not telling you what you MUST do,)  and then it is your choice to do what you believe is right.  WE are NOT sheep, we have our own opinions and choices.  If they told you they do not want to have you as a patient, goof for you!  Now you don't have to bother telling them you found another doctor.   I would call around, talk to a few doctors before deciding who to choose.  Good Luck!

[smileyface]

I be very happy to get kicked out of that practice!  I never bring my babies in for every check up, and my doctor is fine with that. We don't vaccinate, so there is really no need to bring them in that often. As for finding a new doctor, I recommend finding a family doctor instead of a pediatrician. It just seems like they are a lot easier to work with, and you build more of a relationship with them since you can use the same doctor for the whole family.

[4myhoonie]

i agree with both of the above.  we have only went to the dr. in the last 5 years if someone had bodily injury, such as a dislocated toe, sprained ankle, stitches, etc.  they always say to me "who is your regular dr.?" and i say ya'll are!  they just don't ever see me and totally can't understand it.  once when my son was two the dr. said to me "you kept him well for 2 years???" he hadn't seen him since he was 2 weeks old, when we went for a checkup.  so i said, yeah, i used a lot of garlic to keep them all well!!  he thought that was a bit strange!  i love it cuz i don't have to pay them if i don't really need to!! and if i don't go in, they can't pester me about vaccines!  besides i figure there are lots of extra germs there we don't really need!   

[hi_itsgwen]

Some pediatricians are very nazi-like, as they consider themselves to be medical experts.  Some consider the Mother to be the expert on her own baby.  You have every right to shop around for a doctor who fits with your ideals on how your child should be cared for.  Just as choosing a OB/Gyn or whatever...you want someone who is a good fit.

Ask around if you know other like minded Moms in your area.  I bet they have some leads.  I'm sorry you've been treated this way by your doc.  You sound like a very good, and competent Mama.

My sister in law had a bad run in with a Nazi-pediatrician as well.  At the first mention of vaccines...the woman's hand went up in her face, and she told her that she wasn't going to treat her daughter unless they opted for all the vaccines.  Buh-bye!

I fired my last pediatrician because he was in too much of a hurry, and kept interrupting me when I tried to ask a question.  I am paying good money for the visit, and I want to be sure that I've got a doctor who cares, is knowledgable enough to answer my questions, and who is kind to my kids and to me.  Like other Mamas on here have said, I don't take my kids very often because I just don't need to.  They're healthy.  They go to the doctor if it's something out of my league, where I want his expertise.  So I want a trustworthy person filling that role when we need it.

[nomadicjcfollower]

Thank you! I am praying God will lead me to the right Dr. I was thinking of taking him in for his one year, not so much because I think he needs it, but so I can get "established" so I can get a same day appt. if he has something serious. Good thought about the family doc. I guess I was looking for a pediatrician because we had such a good one that my mom took us to growing up and I have such good memories of my mom always praising him.

[HappyMum]

You absolutely don't need to put up with such a pompous pediatrician!  Ask around for recommendations, and check them out.
I tend to pick a Practice first, based on what our insurance will cover (if they're inside "the plan"), and on what like-minded friends recommend.  Then it used to be that I'd take whichever Doctor in the Practice could see us first for a sick visit, and bounce around until I found a Doctor I liked.  I need a Doctor that understands he (or she) is merely a consultant, being consulted and paid by me, and not the be-all-and-end-all.
"Unfortunately" (since Well Tell Me and Beeyoutiful), the kids just don't get sick much any more!  I'm getting ready to switch Practices at the end of this month because the administrative emphasis at our current Practice has shifted from "providing medical care" to "extracting the maximum amount of money".  Even a good Doctor can't do a decent job in that environment.
I wish you the best in finding a Doctor you can work with!

[savedbygrace]

I have had doctors tell me that they wouldn’t see my child if I didn’t do immunizations or well child visits. I called around and would ask them a list of questions that are important to you before you take him in. In our case, we don’t do immunizations at all and that is usually a problem so that is the first question I ask. Then we also don’t do well-child check ups and that is usually a problem so that is the second question I ask. We have gotten kicked out of 2 places now and that’s why I just go straight to the questions before any appointments. We don’t have insurance either. I check their height and weight at home and stay on top of their symptoms so I really don’t go to the doctor unless I have a question that I cannot solve on my own. It’s just much better for us that way! I have gotten many lectures about the immunizations. In some states, it is enough to give them a reason to have children services out to your house. Talk about communist! Bleck!

[Mamatoto]

I love both our pediatricians (first DC and now Colorado) and love going in for my son's checkups!  Both are holistic pediatricians who, although they are MDs, have a wealth of "alternative" medical knowledge as well.  In DC our pediatrician was an expert on herbs, homeopathics, and supplements.  And in Colorado our pediatrician is an expert on nutrition, Chinese herbs, and aromatherapy.  I decided that the money I pay out-of-pocket for the checkups is well worth it.  Our appointments are usually around 45 minutes - no nurse time, just doctor time - with lots of questions on both ends.  I can email questions to our doctor in between visits and get quick responses straight from the doctor.  Vaccine-wise, each doctor asked me my opinions on vaccines during my first visit (an interview in DC and an actual checkup in Colorado) and haven't brought the topic up since.  All that to say... if your doctors visits aren't anything like mine, there is definitely better out there.  Maybe not close - 1 1/2 hours each way for us - but definitely out there somewhere.  You might try calling some midwives in your area for recommendations (not midwives who work in hospitals, but midwives who do home births).  Ours gave me two pages of recommendations in the greater Baltimore/DC area, in order of how holistic they were.  I found ours here in Colorado on the Holistic Pediatric Association website www.hpakids.org.  (Interestingly enough, our DC doc wasn't on the list, so it's definitely not all-inclusive.)  And at local La Leche League meetings, moms are always complaining about pediatricians who aren't breastfeeding friendly and push unnecessary supplementation.  So those of us who like our docs are always ready with contact information.  So maybe try popping in at a local meeting or calling a leader.  (You can find LLL leader contact information online at www.llli.org.)