WellTellMe

Natural Health => Women's Health => : asburyparkangel June 02, 2010, 08:01:08 AM

: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: asburyparkangel June 02, 2010, 08:01:08 AM
 Hi Ladies! I haven't been on the boards for a long time, but I'm desperate to find out the REAL deal with us going into mid-life. I'm not dealing with it well AT ALL & miss being 30. I despise the softness in my once 24 inch size 4 waist and the white pubic hairs are disgusting as well as tiny hairs on my chin. Am I the only one who feels this way?

   NO ONE wants to talk about it and everyone just shirks the issue. My memory has also caused great aggravations with forgetting to turn off the water faucet for my bath water, leaving the stove on, burning black whatever is in it and other things like being VERY late for appointments because I misplace my keys less than 30 seconds ago. I'm resentful & miserable.
 
    Prayer does little to alleviate the damage to household and other things, but I pray everyday that God protects me from the danger of my memories mistakes.  I GOOGLED some menopause women s sites & would you believe they are lading this dying period of a woman's life? i

    Okay... I'm venting. Life goes on. I want to hear about your experiences with being a faded rose and If you don't feel you are that, what are your strategies to endure it. BY the way, having my period was NEVER a problem & I rarely deal with cramps as I had a healthy, eating & fitness lifestyle.

    I believe my problems started with handling a broken thermometer, (mercury & lead accumulation),SPLENDA & NUTRASWEET poisoning & not detoxifying all my life and of course that tck that was lodged in my ear & a month later I had seizures of my throat and neck muscles, (DYSTONIA). Some research I've read relates hormone dysfunction with DYSTONIA.

   Menopause/MID LIFE  sucks, ladies!
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: 6psnapod June 02, 2010, 02:09:36 PM
Hello asburyparkangel,
I guess the hardest part is the insomnia. Going on 5 years now I get 0-3 hours a night. Then the lack of sleep really interferes with everything else.

 I also cannot nap. It is like my body will not sleep. I get tired but can't sleep. I am so used to it now I just live that way, but as I said it has it's share of side effects.

I will not take a sleep aid of any kind due to asthma and a minor heart problem and I'm afraid of most herbs as all flowers I've tried to decorate my house with cause my chest to close up when I am indoors with them.

I am just patiently (trying my best anyway ;D) waiting for this to pass as my body adjusts to the hormonal changes.

Very dry skin and WIIIIIRRRRYYYY gray hair I can't tame down with anything!!! But this is who I am now and so I see what this part of the journey has in store good and bad...

: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: Farm Wife June 02, 2010, 10:51:23 PM
Hi Ladies,
I had depression and sleep issues due to hornone imbalance 2006-07 and did not get better with birth control (only thing gyn offered!). Reg dr offered Xanax which after 3 mo of taking I read it does not allow rem sleep and quit (I seemed to sleep but did not feel rested and it is addictive). II finally bought expensive vitamins ($65.00 a mo.) from  http://www.womentowomen.com which I was doubtful about but desperate. Within 6 weeks I noticed a difference and by 3 mo back to normal (fuzzy brain improved). They are pharmacy grade. Their books are wonderful too as they are WOMEN gyns. The site has tons of free info on hormone imbalance which is influenced by numerous things including food, exposure to chemicals etc.
My issues now are weight will not budge (used to be able to drop 5-10 lbs. easily) and yeah the chin hairs which grow faster than any other hair???
LIFE CAN AND MAY GET BETTER!!! I also relied heavily upon prayer positive thinking dwelling on Phillipeans 4 especially brought comfort. I will turn 46 this month.
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: daisey June 04, 2010, 02:55:56 PM
I think many of us wouldn't have a problem with aging if we lived in a society that didn't put such a great emphasis on youth!  That said.........I find the hardest thing to deal with is my lack of desire for intimacy with my DH!   :'(
Yes, I experience all those other negative affects but this last one causes me such sadness.   
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: 6psnapod June 04, 2010, 05:18:39 PM
I find the hardest thing to deal with is my lack of desire for intimacy with my DH!   :'(
Yes, I experience all those other negative affects but this last one causes me such sadness.   

Yes, this was shocker for me! It took me a couple weeks before it sank in. I knew something was different about me, it is hard to explain just how I felt. And then I realized I had barely thought about intimacy with my husband for a couple of weeks. It was like it just disappeared from my thoughts.
He reminded me, though, thankfully  ;) but on my own the thoughts are...gone...I NEVER thought that could ever happen. I know not everyone has to go through this, but it does happen for some of us even when as I said you're sure that could NEVER happen to you! I still enjoy it when we are intimate and *ummm* dryness isn't a problem, but I just hardly ever think about it anymore. But I have not said anything to my husband (and won't) and I remind myself to initiate so he doesn't think I don't want intimacy any more. That is very important.
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: BJ_BOBBI_JO June 05, 2010, 09:51:21 PM
Back in the 1990s I read that middle age starts at age 35. If this is true then I am a middle ager cause I'm 39. I may only be a middle ager on the younger side of the scale but I'm still a middle ager.

I don't necessarily like it but at this point I don't care to much about it. My skin isn't so young looking anymore and that bothers me and I have some grey hairs. But all that seems so mundane compared to the larger things in life I deal with such as having 3 life altering deadly illnesses that are gonna kill me off.

Once my hair turns all white I want to die it a lavender-purple color. I figure if I'm gonna look all old and grandma like then I mise well do it with color, flash and style. Besides I can just claim I don't see well or something and didn't realize my hair was purplish lavender.

Im still young inside and my mind thinks young. I get to act young with my kids by being silly and playing. Maybe since I had my kids late in life it is helping me stay young. Im glad Im not in that niave young 20s anymore. Im glad to have a bit of experience, wisdom and knowledge from age and living. I figure if people dont like me cause Im aging then they arent nice people to hang out with anyways.

I look at each birthday as getting one year older and closer to my Heavenly home. At least there I wont be all sickly and miserable. There I will be healthy and age wont matter.
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: 6psnapod June 06, 2010, 12:23:39 AM
Once my hair turns all white I want to die it a lavender-purple color. I figure if I'm gonna look all old and grandma like then I mise well do it with color, flash and style. Besides I can just claim I don't see well or something and didn't realize my hair was purplish lavender.

That's funny you should say that, I too love white hair with a pale lavender cast to it! I'd do it too if my husband wouldn't disown me. lol Then again, maybe he'd like it too! I refuse to dye my very graying hair and can't wait for it to turn all white. Then... who knows ;)

Every season has something new. We loose one thing ( no more babies) and gain something else (beautiful grandbabies!). We can live a "dying" lifeless  life at ANY age! Or, embrace life's new offerings. It is our choice and our testimony (thankfulness or unthankfulness) to our God.

 I love the comfort of a 26 year marriage! To know and love someone so deeply...Yep, our bodies are both falling apart bit by bit...but love covers a multitude of aches and diseases too!
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: asburyparkangel June 07, 2010, 05:05:24 PM
    Ladies,
    I thank U ALL for taking the time to respond! It means the world to me to know I'm not GOING NUTS!!! I mourn about how QUICKLY 30 years have passed. It seems only yesterday that I was a lovely, 10 year old graduating from high school with my whole life ahead of me. Sad that I was put in a foster home, got into a HORRIBLE abusive marriage as a naive 17 year old and then had YEARS struggling with LYME. ROBBED & stolen....BUT GOD!!!

HE is my hope & will restore all that was ribbed. WE deal with LOSS as best as we can & MUST believe HE is the REPAIRER of the breach. Because of ADAM & EVE'S sin, we are all suffering the effects of sin, but that will change when Christ takes over and we have our glorified bodies!!!

I will be 29 looking forever with a perfect body and PERFECT SOUL.

THank God for His WORD, our LIVING hope. Menopause and OLD age will be NO more.

Come QUICKLY LORD Jesus.
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: Mama Sita June 08, 2010, 02:26:04 AM
   It seems only yesterday that I was a lovely, 10 year old graduating from high school with my whole life ahead of me.

You were 10 years old when you graduated from high school?!?  When I was 10, I was still playing with baby dolls and being a bossy big sister to my 7 younger siblings  ;D

But to chime in here, I am now 40-something, and really enjoying this perspective of life. No WAY would I want to go back to my 20's, not even my 30's--I always try to look forward and see how BLESSED I am thus far. An attitude of GRATITUDE helps to keep the aches and pains away, not to mention a good diet full of essential fatty acids! Even when I *forget* to exercise, I can feel the old muscles stretched and sore from a full day of being out in the garden or flower beds, also being slightly burnt from being in the wonderful sunshine all day....ahhh, at that point, sleep is a wonderful, welcome friend. (Isn't it always?)

Nope, we can't turn back the clock, but we can praise God for the simple, small things in our lives that earlier we were far too busy (with toddlers) to notice. I can honestly say that right now, my life is full, busy, satisfying and I am looking forward to slowing down a bit and spending some good quality time with my teenagers before they fly the coop. (Then maybe I won't have to work so hard to hide my chocolate stash  ;D ;) )
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: daisey June 08, 2010, 12:20:31 PM
But to chime in here, I am now 40-something, and really enjoying this perspective of life. No WAY would I want to go back to my 20's, not even my 30's--I always try to look forward and see how BLESSED I am thus far. An attitude of GRATITUDE helps to keep the aches and pains away, not to mention a good diet full of essential fatty acids! Even when I *forget* to exercise, I can feel the old muscles stretched and sore from a full day of being out in the garden or flower beds, also being slightly burnt from being in the wonderful sunshine all day....ahhh, at that point, sleep is a wonderful, welcome friend. (Isn't it always?)

Nope, we can't turn back the clock, but we can praise God for the simple, small things in our lives that earlier we were far too busy (with toddlers) to notice. I can honestly say that right now, my life is full, busy, satisfying and I am looking forward to slowing down a bit and spending some good quality time with my teenagers before they fly the coop. (Then maybe I won't have to work so hard to hide my chocolate stash  ;D ;) )

I used to feel this way when I was 40................now at 61+ I am missing those feelings!  You are right we can't turn back the clock but that doesn't mean we will always enjoy the chapter we are living.   This to will pass, we will get to a better place once again, but in the meantime, while we learn to adjust and learn from this stage we miss what we once had.  
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: mykidsmom June 09, 2010, 04:54:50 AM
   It seems only yesterday that I was a lovely, 10 year old graduating from high school with my whole life ahead of me.

You were 10 years old when you graduated from high school?!?  When I was 10, I was still playing with baby dolls and being a bossy big sister to my 7 younger siblings  ;D

But to chime in here, I am now 40-something, and really enjoying this perspective of life. No WAY would I want to go back to my 20's, not even my 30's--I always try to look forward and see how BLESSED I am thus far. An attitude of GRATITUDE helps to keep the aches and pains away, not to mention a good diet full of essential fatty acids! Even when I *forget* to exercise, I can feel the old muscles stretched and sore from a full day of being out in the garden or flower beds, also being slightly burnt from being in the wonderful sunshine all day....ahhh, at that point, sleep is a wonderful, welcome friend. (Isn't it always?)

Nope, we can't turn back the clock, but we can praise God for the simple, small things in our lives that earlier we were far too busy (with toddlers) to notice. I can honestly say that right now, my life is full, busy, satisfying and I am looking forward to slowing down a bit and spending some good quality time with my teenagers before they fly the coop. (Then maybe I won't have to work so hard to hide my chocolate stash  ;D ;) )

Mama Sita, I totally agree with you.  While I don't have the energy I used to have, I tend to enjoy each season.  I think attitude is so much of this!  I love that my children are out of diapers and able to be a help around the house.  As well as being able to vacation to neat spots and have them really learn and enjoy them.  We're just beginning to enter the teen years and we are enjoying the changes. 

I don't cherish the thought of slowing down and getting older, but I do want to enjoy each season and will find reason to rejoice in it.  I just turned 40 this year and I did have a hard time with that birthday, but only for a week.   ;D  Then I put my big girl panties on and decided to enjoy each day.   :D

patti
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: patiogirl May 21, 2011, 06:19:20 PM
I think many of us wouldn't have a problem with aging if we lived in a society that didn't put such a great emphasis on youth!  That said.........I find the hardest thing to deal with is my lack of desire for intimacy with my DH!   :'(
Yes, I experience all those other negative affects but this last one causes me such sadness.   

I'm in the same boat. I completed menopause a year ago and my feelings for intimacy have just vanished, like a distant memory. And I was usually the more eager of the two of us. It's more work to reach a climax now and intercourse is getting painful. My husband is very sweet and understanding, but I'd sure like to get back those old feelings. I'm hoping to find some herbals and would welcome suggestions.

In the area of weight gain, I had put on about 40 pounds from early forties to early fifties (I'm 54 now). I tried cutting some things out of my diet, exercising -- but finally had to go on a real diet. Kept the calories under 1200 a day (I'm only 5 ft tall) during weekdays and allowed myself a little more on weekends. Over a year, I lost between 35 to 40 pounds. I'm now back to my normal weight, but still have to follow the diet regimen a few days every week to keep it off.

I'm sure it's wrong to focus on youth, but hate the idea of turning into some other person. And that's what it seemed like as my weight was going up and my hair was getting so very gray. Now I color my hair, try to keep the weight off, and take care of my skin (which I'd always done before). I really am happier now that I look more like myself again. Just would like to find a way to revive that old sex drive.
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: pelican May 22, 2011, 11:57:09 AM
I've bumped into some information that may help some of your interests with increasing your desire for intimacy.  A few months back I started taking gotu kola.  It was actually in a mixture of herbs put out by Solaray to help varicose veins.  I picked this variety because it had the gotu kola, had read about it and was interested in what it may do for me (being now 44 years old).  After a couple of months I noticed being much more interested in intimacy with my husband.  Then I came across a book, Nutritional Herbology by Mark Pederson (you can find cheap used copies on ABE books).  Flipping through the pages I read that "properties of saponin containing herbs include alterative, anticatrrhal, antispasmodic, aphodisiac, emmenagogue, cardiac stimulant and increased longevity."  Gotu Kola contains saponin.  According to "The How to Herb Book" an aphrodisiac is "used to correct problems of impotency and strengthen sexual power."  I do not feel controlled by the herb but sort of "woken up."  Look up online or in reference books for other saponin containing herbs, there are others out there.  I never thought I would take something like this but now I am so glad I found out about it.  My husband and I are really enjoying this ;)
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: daisey May 23, 2011, 10:14:08 AM
I think many of us wouldn't have a problem with aging if we lived in a society that didn't put such a great emphasis on youth!  That said.........I find the hardest thing to deal with is my lack of desire for intimacy with my DH!   :'(
Yes, I experience all those other negative affects but this last one causes me such sadness.   

I'm in the same boat. I completed menopause a year ago and my feelings for intimacy have just vanished, like a distant memory. And I was usually the more eager of the two of us. It's more work to reach a climax now and intercourse is getting painful. My husband is very sweet and understanding, but I'd sure like to get back those old feelings. I'm hoping to find some herbals and would welcome suggestions.

In the area of weight gain, I had put on about 40 pounds from early forties to early fifties (I'm 54 now). I tried cutting some things out of my diet, exercising -- but finally had to go on a real diet. Kept the calories under 1200 a day (I'm only 5 ft tall) during weekdays and allowed myself a little more on weekends. Over a year, I lost between 35 to 40 pounds. I'm now back to my normal weight, but still have to follow the diet regimen a few days every week to keep it off.

I'm sure it's wrong to focus on youth, but hate the idea of turning into some other person. And that's what it seemed like as my weight was going up and my hair was getting so very gray. Now I color my hair, try to keep the weight off, and take care of my skin (which I'd always done before). I really am happier now that I look more like myself again. Just would like to find a way to revive that old sex drive.

I just wanted to update this...............after a year of absolutely no interest in anything physical with my DH, I have to say,  finally this has changed!  :)   I am going to explore the gotu Kola (which I have) but, for some reason the lack of desire just went away and, although we are not back to anything at all resembling 30 year olds, we are again enjoying each other.  We really did not ...do...anything different, it just seems that my body chemistry changed and is more normal.   Hope that is encouraging for someone else.
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: healthyinOhio May 23, 2011, 05:45:44 PM
Can I just say I am THRILLED that I am not the only one who is hating growing old!! lol  I mean, beauty IS vain...but....I feel like I just am not pleasing hubby enough with my wretched aging looks!!!
I am *really* struggling with the white hairs in divers places, the sagging um...places lol, the gaining of weight( although I JUST recently lost @ 24lbs), etc.
I don't like aging at ALL! I feel almost like I am on a soon to be forgotten journey. Not liking it at all!!!
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: daisey May 24, 2011, 02:39:30 PM
Can I just say I am THRILLED that I am not the only one who is hating growing old!! lol  I mean, beauty IS vain...but....I feel like I just am not pleasing hubby enough with my wretched aging looks!!!
I am *really* struggling with the white hairs in divers places, the sagging um...places lol, the gaining of weight( although I JUST recently lost @ 24lbs), etc.
I don't like aging at ALL! I feel almost like I am on a soon to be forgotten journey. Not liking it at all!!!

I do agree!  I don't like it either but really don't know what to do about it.  All my sagging parts are what really gets me.  Nothing fits properly anymore!   :-[          I keep praying for grace, which of course is given yet I still don't like what I see.  Hubby is so kind though.......he says he likes how I look no matter what.   I just wonder if he will still say that when everything is hanging on the floor.   :o
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: healthyinOhio May 25, 2011, 04:16:53 AM
Hubby is so kind though.......he says he likes how I look no matter what.   

I know, hubby says the same thing, but I think he is just being polite! ha ha  ::) The sagging parts ARE annoying! I don't want to wear an underwire bra, because of it disturbing the flow of lymph away from the bre*st area, but I need some help, now!!! lol
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: rainygladness May 25, 2011, 09:36:56 AM
I don't cherish the thought of slowing down and getting older, but I do want to enjoy each season and will find reason to rejoice in it.  I just turned 40 this year and I did have a hard time with that birthday, but only for a week.   ;D  Then I put my big girl panties on and decided to enjoy each day.   :D

patti

Same here, Patti. I turned 40 last year and it seemed like things started breaking down all at once.  Maybe there's an internal timer that turning 40 sets in motion? Ready..set...fall apart!  :P ;D

I really don't mind the idea of aging - especially the part that includes growing old with my husband.  But I'd like fewer hitches in my "get along" if you kwim.  How people age must be partly determined by good genes, too, I think.

So...I guess I don't mind as much how middle age looks as much as it feels.  Looks can be worked with but it's the joints and bones and aches and pains and all that are the biggest bummer.  I never thought I'd be taking so many herbs and supplements and EFA's in all my life.  I was not prepared for those things to start this soon.  (sigh) Still trying to get my big girl panties on.  ;)

: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: healthybratt May 26, 2011, 05:22:30 AM
i think 40 ROCKS! 

i've got aches and pains i didn't have before.  i have wrinkles.  i have stretch marks.  i have rolls and sagging parts.  i have lots of gray hair (which i cover).



i feel like these are all marks of battle making my way to the woman i am today and it's only getting better everyday.  :D  i am SO ready to be a gramma.  50, here i come!
 
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: ladyhen May 26, 2011, 06:04:07 AM
You are TOO RIGHT, hb, 40 does ROCK!    :D

I loved being in my 40's.  I had my 2 youngest children while in my 40's.  Currently I am post-mid 50's and loving life.  My dh still gets that certain glint in his eyes and I still love flirting with and teasing him.  It's more of a mental game now than it was when we were in our 20's & 30's.  Things change.  That's okay. 

Each stage of life has brought unique blessings and challenges, but it's been so much fun living life.  When I begin to bog down with worry or my health problems, I have a fun-loving, cheery Man who is 9 yrs older than I who reminds me to laugh. 

My grey hair is a dramatic accent, in his eyes. The wrinkles and sags still encase the woman he loves, in his words.  And my slow, crippled walk is a reminder to hold my hand and stay with me. 

And our grandchildren say that we are fascinating, fun, interesting, happy, and they LOVE coming to our house.   ;)  ;D
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: daisey May 26, 2011, 12:20:35 PM
i think 40 ROCKS! 

i've got aches and pains i didn't have before.  i have wrinkles.  i have stretch marks.  i have rolls and sagging parts.  i have lots of gray hair (which i cover).



i feel like these are all marks of battle making my way to the woman i am today and it's only getting better everyday.  :D  i am SO ready to be a gramma.  50, here i come!
 

I felt exactly like that at 40!  Those were the best years.........40-60.  I am actually enjoying 60+ also but I really do wish I could have retained some of the youthful appearance that I had always enjoyed up to this point. 
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: asburyparkangel June 24, 2011, 05:10:29 PM
Nice to see this daisy1 What a joy to see such peace. God bless you. I guess I'm still an "angry" young woman, (about certain things, lol).
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: asburyparkangel June 24, 2011, 05:11:52 PM
Can I just say I am THRILLED that I am not the only one who is hating growing old!! lol  I mean, beauty IS vain...but....I feel like I just am not pleasing hubby enough with my wretched aging looks!!!
I am *really* struggling with the white hairs in divers places, the sagging um...places lol, the gaining of weight( although I JUST recently lost @ 24lbs), etc.
I don't like aging at ALL! I feel almost like I am on a soon to be forgotten journey. Not liking it at all!!!

I do agree!  I don't like it either but really don't know what to do about it.  All my sagging parts are what really gets me.  Nothing fits properly anymore!   :-[          I keep praying for grace, which of course is given yet I still don't like what I see.  Hubby is so kind though.......he says he likes how I look no matter what.   I just wonder if he will still say that when everything is hanging on the floor.   :o
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: asburyparkangel June 24, 2011, 05:13:47 PM
YOU are a SPECIAL lady!
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: Helen June 27, 2011, 10:07:44 AM
I used to think middle age was around age 30...  ;D  I am turning 31 this year, I know.. I know... I don't even have the right to add anything to this.. but I just have to say one thing! :) I dreaded turning 30, I felt like I was officially over the hill...  but somehow I found my power... the power to say goodbye to unhealthy relationships, the power to loose all my inhibitions about various things in life. The power to throw my head back and shine... The secret is in buying expensive loot to slather on your skin... and saggy boobs? two words.. Victorias Secret... It will transform your whole chest area... And don't say you can't afford it! My husband says he can't afford NOT to buy Victorias Secret bras. :) One bra will last for years .  Now I will slink my young "you know what" off this thread....
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: rainygladness June 27, 2011, 03:21:59 PM
I think turning 40 was like the start of autumn for me (which happens to be my favorite season).  The summer heat (foolish youth) is past and there's a lot to look forward to - getting out my cozy sweaters, strolls in the crisp air beneath a twilight sky with my husband, the smell from smoky rooftops, snow flurries and anticipation of the coming holidays.  I get excited for this season when it's only June!

When dh and I were in our summer season, life was SO busy and tiring, I would actually daydream about when we could "take it easy" when we were older.  :D I love seeing elderly couples holding hands and knowing that, Lord willing, I have my sweetheart to hold my wrinkly hand someday.

I honestly have no issues with wrinkles, grey hair, playing bingo, losing my youthful appearance, senior discounts, etc. But if degenerating discs are a nonissue, than falling on the icy pavement in winter ought to be a barrel of laughs.  ::) ;D  Pain is pain no matter what your age. Part of aging depends on how well we've prepared for the "cold seasons", our outlook on life, etc... but the rest is left to chance and God's will.  

Eccl 9:11
The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."

But wise planning allows for greater joy in aging which minimizes the hardships - like putting down cardboard and hay around a summer vegetable garden makes fewer weeds and an easier harvest time.  (Women taking natural progesterone, men taking saw palmetto, etc).

I really do love that my husband and I are beginning our autumn journey.  We love to talk about how it will be when we'll hold our grandchildren, have more time for just each other, pursue some of our gifts and talents more fully, maybe do a little second-honeymoon traveling, etc.

So for me, it's not that I have any qualms about aging, I just want to get in the best health possible before the snow begins to fly!  There's a lot to look forward to and I want to enjoy it. *Puts big girl panties on*  ;D

So old age is fine - especially when you consider the alternative.  ;)

: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: daisey June 27, 2011, 04:45:24 PM
I think turning 40 was like the start of autumn for me (which happens to be my favorite season).  The summer heat (foolish youth) is past and there's a lot to look forward to - getting out my cozy sweaters, strolls in the crisp air beneath a twilight sky with my husband, the smell from smoky rooftops, snow flurries and anticipation of the coming holidays.  I get excited for this season when it's only June!

When dh and I were in our summer season, life was SO busy and tiring, I would actually daydream about when we could "take it easy" when we were older.  :D I love seeing elderly couples holding hands and knowing that, Lord willing, I have my sweetheart to hold my wrinkly hand someday.

I honestly have no issues with wrinkles, grey hair, playing bingo, losing my youthful appearance, senior discounts, etc. But if degenerating discs are a nonissue, than falling on the icy pavement in winter ought to be a barrel of laughs.  ::) ;D  Pain is pain no matter what your age. Part of aging depends on how well we've prepared for the "cold seasons", our outlook on life, etc... but the rest is left to chance and God's will.  

Eccl 9:11
The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."

But wise planning allows for greater joy in aging which minimizes the hardships - like putting down cardboard and hay around a summer vegetable garden makes fewer weeds and an easier harvest time.  (Women taking natural progesterone, men taking saw palmetto, etc).

I really do love that my husband and I are beginning our autumn journey.  We love to talk about how it will be when we'll hold our grandchildren, have more time for just each other, pursue some of our gifts and talents more fully, maybe do a little second-honeymoon traveling, etc.

So for me, it's not that I have any qualms about aging, I just want to get in the best health possible before the snow begins to fly!  There's a lot to look forward to and I want to enjoy it. *Puts big girl panties on*  ;D

So old age is fine - especially when you consider the alternative.  ;)



Amen...........I just this week have the extreme joy of holding my first grandson!  What a special gift from God.   There are thousands of miles that separate us but I was able to travel and help out for a week and I feel so blessed!   It is good to embrace  each season of life.......they are each a gift from God.   I am slowly getting used to the over 60 season........wrinkles, sags and all.  :)   
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: rainygladness June 28, 2011, 04:18:52 AM
Amen...........I just this week have the extreme joy of holding my first grandson!  What a special gift from God.   There are thousands of miles that separate us but I was able to travel and help out for a week and I feel so blessed!   It is good to embrace  each season of life.......they are each a gift from God.   I am slowly getting used to the over 60 season........wrinkles, sags and all.  :)   

Congratulations on your first grandbaby!  :D
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: daisey September 16, 2011, 11:13:21 AM
As I was skimming some of these posts, I was struck by the fact that so many of you young women feel that 30 and 40 are the autumn years!  Yikes!   You are just in the best years!  Just a few observations...........most women marry between 18-24 and have their children within a couple of years.  They are done raising their children by the time they are 45 or so.  If you are a stay at home Mom, there is a great void and you really can feel old!   I didn't marry until I was 26.  Had my first child at 31, last one at 44.  That puts me at 62 when my last child turns 18!  Believe me when I say, that has a tendency to keep one on the go.   Yes, at times I have felt old, but there was always something fun going on to keep me going.  I know many women that are grandmothers by the time they are 45.  I almost wish I had been because I would be a more 'fun' grandma at that age, yet, that was not the way it worked and my grandchildren will have to put up with a not quite so fun grandma.  :)    There were a couple of years when I didn't enjoy my DH........I am truly pleased to say those have passed and we are now in our second honeymoon phase.    I guess what I am trying to convey is this...........each season has it's advantages and disadvantages.   We also need to realize that life is what you make of it.   If you think old at 20, you will BE old at 20.  Think young my friends!  Enjoy each season..........they fly almost as quickly as the seasons in a year.  Love and laugh and play...........the rest will follow.  :)
Yes, I still struggle with the wrinkles and sags!  It is such a youth, beauty culture we live in.  It is hard to know you will never look slim and pretty like you did when you were 20!  :)  Have to work for that inner beauty that comes from a meek and quiet spirit.  :)  Just an old woman's thoughts.
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: ekvcnasr March 12, 2013, 05:52:08 AM
I am totally stuggling with turning 50 in a couple of months.  I am a Christian yet I've been in the midst of a deep depression since last July.  I've tried taking medication but feel they are doing me more harm than good.

A little background:
I'm divorced (he left me for another woman) and my children are grown with lives of their own.  I live alone, work in a long term care facility (where people are really old and die often) 

I feel like I'm only working to support myself and have no money, time or energy to enjoy life.  Not to mention there is no one to spend time with even if I had the time, money or energy.

This is supposed to be the time of my life where I can finally catch my breath and start exploring with my my life partner!  I am frustrated, lonely, tired all the time and depressed.

The only good thing is that I'm told quite often that I don't look 50....I have almost no wrinkles and my hair is only highlighted by the streaks of grey....otherwise, I hate being as old as I am!
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: daisey March 12, 2013, 10:46:52 AM
ekvcnasr~~~~I am so sorry you are feeling so depressed.  Under the same circumstances I would probably feel the same.  I am hoping you have some friends that you could call on to help you through this time.  Sometimes we have a tendency to isolate ourselves because we don't want to admit we need some cheering up, please know that your true friends would want to help.  I will be praying for you.
: Re: How do you ladies REALLY feel about your middle age?
: asburyparkangel September 09, 2013, 11:32:45 AM
Precious one! (I haven't been on welltellme for a few years and just  felt compelled to check if I still had a  post. I'm sorry to hear you're depressed. I'm finding many beautiful women of God are being beaten down by the enemy. It's been QUITE a battle for me struggling with a horrendously draining neurological condition called DYSTONIA, (from Lyme Disease and heavy metal poisoning). OH MY MY were it NOt for JESUS mercy, LOVE and grace, I'm sure I would be writing this today.
This strange malady started over six years ago with a spasm in my throat. a Month later I was at HUP, Pennsylvanians TOP nuerology center. No one had any cure or relief for this  condition. The muscles of my throat PULL down my jaw, making the mouth open and close  100s of TXs a day. My right jaw is in agony, (TMJ) they call it. And  when closing down,. the teeth sometimes chomp on my tongue & I have a bloody mess.

I'v CUT down going out and gigging because I'm so self-conscious of my facial grimaces. I used to be feminine, spry and adorable, now I feel like a freak. But Good has come out of all this suffering and  over 20,000 in medical visits, treatments and  supplements. Doctors, neurologists, a chro and accupuncturists have made a killing off us and NO relief. It is misery living each moment.

The Lord has blessed me to be able to minister to the elderly, disabled and dying with my ministry. No longer focusing on  performing, many opportunities have come to encourage & inspire family members who've LOST loved ones to cancer or whatever1 I also fell back in love with Photography and finished my beautiful journaling and color  picture book 5-part series, "Arise From Your Grave!!"  Also, my kitty cat, Pee_wee has been my little constant companion. I also mentor 3 beautiful young Christian women on FACEBOOK and it's a joy.

My pastor also ordained me as a minister last October and I've been leading worship for her small congregation. It's been amazing ushering in God's presence on Sunday in such a condition. Everything in my life a nothing short of a miracle.

I'd love to pray with you and encourage you. If you wish to reach me, you can GOOGLE me. I have a few website, Music, blogsite on wordpress and various articles. Please contact me and I will be praying for you. Thank You for responding, sister. God bless you.'