Yes, you can NOT eat borax, but it is safer to use as a cleaner than the regular dish soaps and laundry soaps! Borax is used in kids' home made "goop" and it's safe for them to handle and play with, so should be ok in soaps and cleaners.
Just about anything can be toxic in big amounts, and even small amounts. But we're finding that the chemicals in regular products are more toxic than some of the more "old fashioned" cleaners and soaps.
I've seen some of the natural products at Walgreens! They have Aubrey Organics, Jason, Kiss my Face, and Burt's Bees. I know WalMart has stuff, so does Target, but your most reliable source is going to be your local health food store. Remember, they can order many things for you, so even if you don't see exactly what you want, if they have one line of natural stuff, they can likely get just about any line of natural stuff.
HTH! We're on this same journey, too, and the task is both FUN and OVERWHELMING!