So many others have written and given you such good advice and comforting words, that I hesitate to even write, that I might be a hinderance. I feel inadequate to write in the presence of such neat ladies. But I feel lead to share, so press on I will.
I had a miscarriage between my first and second baby. I am sure that there are many women here that can testify to that and I know that is not what you need to hear right now. However, I also did the same sort of stand in faith that you did and when things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to, it really set me back for a little bit. When I got pregnant, I had just been told not to try and get pregnant by the dr. since they were trying to regulate my thyroid medications. What I didn't know was that the meds altered my cycle, so that when I thought there was no way I could be fertile.......I was. So I conceived and once I realized what had happened, my husband, I , and many other friends started praying for this baby. One night when I was seeking God in prayer for our baby, God told me that this child would be named Faith. I was overjoyed and took it as an answer that everything would be okay. God has named and even told the sex of every one of our children very early in our pregnancies. He did it with our first born, Noah, so I didn't find this unusual. Several weeks later, I began to miscarry. We were away from home on an extended business trip, and after getting no where with the emergency room there, my husband finally put me on a plane with our son back to Iowa, so I could go to my regular obgyn and be with family who could help with our son. It meant me being separated from my husband for another month. It was a horrible sad time. My heart goes out to you, and I am crying for you and I don't even know you. However at the end of my mourning, at one of the moments when I was asking God, "Why?" God took me to the scripture in Hebrews 11:1, "Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do NOT see." Emphasis mine and in my heart He added, and I think this is safe addition, "and do not understand." Faith is what counts when we do not see the evidence that we hope for. Faith is what we hold on to when we realize that God is still God, and His ways are not our ways. I don't believe God took your baby, I believe he was stolen from you by the devil himself. But, I do believe that God is holding your baby right now and that he will make this into something for His good and that this will eventually strengthen you and your husband. Let God speak to you during this time and don't harden your heart. I will be praying for you all day and in the days to come. May God bless you. Ami H.